Cyborg

It is “the future,” but not too far in the future. Earth has been ravaged by nuclear war and a plague, leaving the place in tatters. The United States is a smattering of fortified cities isolated from the larger landscape of desolation.

American Ninja

Dudikoff may not be much of an actor, but he’s not so bad that you’d be shocked by how bad he is. He’s well-suited for the role, and he has Steve James on hand to provide some actual charisma

Sinbad of the Seven Seas

Sinbad’s crew is one for the ages, consisting of his trusted friends the Viking named Viking, Prince Ali, a bald guy named The Bald Cook, Poochy the Dwarf, and the Chinese Soldier of Fortune, who is played by a Japanese guy and dressed like a Thai ladyboy on his way home from a particularly colorful Siamese gay rights parade.

Treasure of the Four Crowns

In the case of the oft-forgotten Indiana Jones rip-off, Treasure of the Four Crowns, all anyone could remember was “something about a lot of flaming rocks swinging around on really obvious wires.”

The Octagon

It’s not Chuck’s fault that fashion in the late 1970s was so abysmal. Luckily for him, cowboy fashion has been the same pretty much since the 1800’s, so at least he isn’t strutting around in all those plaid flares Sonny Chiba had a tendency to don.

Enter the Ninja

From crappy American ninja movies to guys with mullets wearing ninja pants and practicing their nunchuka skills in the park, Enter the Ninja spawned far more idiocy than it actually contains. Goofy action fun is all I need sometimes, and that’s all Enter the Ninja delivers.

Pray for Death

Just when you thought America’s cities were getting safer, you leave the house to walk down to the corner bodega and catch sight of a bunch of cops fighting with a ninja.

Revenge of the Ninja

Sho Kosugi, after doing time as the villain in Cannon Film’s first ninja movie, gets to step into the lead role for its second, one of the best ninja movies produced during the 1980s ninja craze. Sometimes, real life events contribute to the effectiveness of an on-screen story. A tremendous act of synchronicity results in…