Taking of Beverly Hills

A lot of windows get broken, a lot of stuff blows up, there will be more tortured football analogies than you could possibly imagine, and at one point, Ken Wahl fights a SWAT tank!

Little Big Soldier

Little Big Soldier returns Jackie to the period setting of his older movies, something he hasn’t done often since the late 1970s. The Myth saw Chan trying his hand at the sort of sweeping period epics that became all the rage in the wake of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Hero, and just not getting it right.

The Stranger

The Stranger paints a skintight black leather outfit onto martial arts bombshell Kathy Long and plops her down in the middle of a modern day High Plains Drifter, only with bikers.

Shaolin

Me and Benny Chan go back a ways, and our relationship has been stormy. Some of his directorial efforts, like Who Am I and Big Bullet, I really like. Others, like New Police Story and Gen Y Cops, I really dislike. So I guess I come out even enough that when Chan makes a new…

Shaolin Invincibles

By the time The End appeared on the television screen, we’d seen tongue-waggling ghosts, bug-eyed zombies, and that most treasured of kungfu film appearances — the kungfu gorilla.

BioShock

It delivered just about everything I wanted from the game play surprised me with how much more there was to dig into if you so desired.

New Legend of Shaolin

This one, starring Jet Li when he was the undisputed king of being hoisted around on wires, is the epitome of mediocre 1990s wuxia. It’s a textbook case of by-the-numbers, don’t-give-a-shit Hong Kong film making from Wong Jing, the master of by-the-numbers, don’t-give-a-shit Hong Kong film making.

Hard to be a God

This German-French-Soviet film is very much like an episode of Star Trek — with all the well-meaning ham-handedness that implies — only with more grime, blood, and full frontal male nudity.

Norwegian Ninja

It makes me happy to wake up and discover, more or less totally by accident, that the world of film is still surprising and delightful. I have no idea how I heard of Norwegian Ninja. Perhaps appropriate to the subject matter, awareness of the movie simply popped into my head with no external stimulus at…

Khooni Dracula

Features a black-robed Dracula in a cheap fright mask and stylish white loafers wandering around, menacing seemingly random chunky chicks taking showers while wearing their lycra shorts.

Never Surrender

This movie is an Ed Hardy shirt. Hell, this movie doesn’t just feature stretch limo Hummers; it is the cinematic embodiment of a stretch limo Hummer, and chances are if you think stretch limo Hummers are totally bad-ass and classy, then this is probably the movie for you.

Coweb

It’s time to start paying attention to martial arts movies again. We’re not quite out of the desert through which we’ve been wandering, but there’s definitely an oasis on the horizon.