Teleport City

The Ripper has struck again, prompting the drunk who finds the body to exclaim in his best RADA Cockney accent, “Gor blimey, the Ripper! ‘e’s done ‘er in!”

If you want to see Felix Leiter from Goldfinger hopping around naked in bunny ears – and who among us can say they don’t? – this is the film for you.

I’ve got a weird fascination with superhero movies from places other than the USA. Since X-Men (2000) and particularly Spider-Man (2002) demonstrated the possibilities of adapting comic books with a previously unthinkable level of faithfulness to the source material, superheroes have become a staple of Hollywood’s output. And with cash tills ringing in spades for all manner of four-colour-inspired heroics

If there’s a target audience for a movie starring both Mithun Chakraborty and Gordon Liu, I’m it. Literally.

He can use this force to pull himself through the air, almost as if, oh, as if swinging from, let’s say some kind of web. Like a man who possesses some of the characteristics of a spider, perhaps.

Then there’s the fact that Wolfe manages to sell 100 million phones in about a week, and just how is Wolfe planning to control all the folks who prefer their Motorolas..?

This isn’t really a film at all, but more of a game of dress-up that a couple of 12-year-old girls with access to their mum’s wardrobe might have.

I was uhm-ing and ahh-ing about reviewing this one given it’s a film with a rather high level of tween-girl appeal, and I didn’t want to tarnish my stout-yet-manly Franco Nero-in-Enter the Ninja image. But then Keith admitted to watching Red Riding Hood and I figured why not? Teleport City is after all built on inclusivity, which is the next

Kung fu, boobs, romance, more kung fu, more boobs, and some sweaty Filipinos. Yes, it’s a Cirio Santiago joint. Naked Fist is a terribly silly film, but for some reason I love it. Even after watching it about 5 times, I still find it ludicrously entertaining.

As latter-day Hammer films go, The Vampire Lovers is an entertaining, sexy romp. It relies less on the hammy scare tactics of the later Dracula series and more on the audience’s assumptions.

Our villain: black leather trousers, opera cape, engineer boots, Gene Simmons hairdo and a curious mask somewhere between a yin-yang symbol and Elton John’s more outlandish eyewear

A chilling tale of lust, sex, murder, betrayal, and an annoying drum that goes ‘boingggg!’

Paul investigates and discovers that all of them were clients of Christine. There’s also the body of a poor sewer man with no dialogue other than “Aarrgghh,” played Michael Ripper.

Callistratus is trying to find a combination of groups that can be transfused into a diseased subject to cure the condition. Pretty sure that’s not really how blood groups work, but never mind.