After years of neglect, bad management, re-organization, and deletion, our A-Z index of films reviewed on Teleport City became a thing of horror and inaccuracy. We’re in the middle of rebuilding it. Until then, please bear with us as things suddenly appear or disappear or just seem not to work.

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	The Call of Cthulhu | Ryan Tagged: 2005, Creepy Cults, Devils Demons and Monsters, Horror, HP Lovecraft, Silent Cthulhu is almost as famous, if not more famous, than Lovecraft himself. I guess there's something oddly personable about an anthropomorphic squid-jellyfish-bat monster from outer space. So it's probably worth pointing out that the first appearance and development of Cthulhu marks a turning point, maybe even a breaking point, in Lovecraft's fiction. There are certainly continuities that run across the entirety of his writing; even his earliest stories feature people whose minds are torn apart by unthinkable truths, although sometimes this truth is nothing more than that one's great-grandfather was actually a gorilla. Much of his early work, though, owes a massive debt to Poe and Dunsany.
	Cannibal Ferox | Keith Tagged: 1980, Cannibals, Italy, Jungle Adventures, Umberto Lenzi As far as cannibal movies go, Cannibal Ferox is entertaining. It's fast-paced, and the whole Mafia subplot is so silly you can't help but admire Lenzi's bizarre train of thought. It's like he started out making one movie and ended up with another. And he actually manages to tie it all together, which is impressive in itself. If you can get past the animal scenes, this is a nasty little flick with great gore, a brisk pace, and plenty of gut eating. Ever wonder why all cannibals eat people in the same way, by just sort of mashing the innards on their face? You never see an organized cannibal meal. Just because you eat the same thing as a zombie doesn't mean you can have the same table manners.
	Captain Blood
	Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter | Keith Tagged: 1974, B-Masters Roundtable, Caroline Munro, England, Hammer Studio, Horror, Swashbucklers, Vampires Clemens vision for Captain Kronos as a film series was pretty cool, with Kronos appearing throughout different periods across the centuries, carrying on his battle with the undead and revealing that there was a much longer history behind the man than has hinted at in the first movie. When it was evident that there was no way Hammer was going to make it, and thus there would be no second or third Kronos film, talk shifted to production of a television series. Nothing ever came of that, either, and with the exception of a few appearances in a Hammer comic book, Kronos faded from existence until more recently, when it was rediscovered and people started thinking, "Holy crap, this movie is great!"
	Castle of Cagliostro
	The Castle of Fu Manchu
	Casus Kiran
	Cazadores de Espias
	China Strike Force | Keith Tagged: 2000, Aaron Kwok, Action, Hong Kong, Mark Dacascos, Martial Arts, Stanley Tong The only thing memorable about this film is how good it might have been if someone else had directed. As has always been the case, Stanley Tong was given all the pieces for a great film and just couldn't make them fit together. Awkward drama, awkward comedy, and awkward action sequences are tenuously strung together in what proves to be a very average film. Sure, it's better than watching a Mario Van Peebles film, but with guys like Teddy Chan and Johnny To raising the bar and giving us enjoyable, well-made action films, Stanley Tong's lack of skill becomes even more glaring. In the end, China Strike Force, like most of his movies, is a bland and somewhat tedious exercise in paint-by-numbers film-making on the level of some of your better direct-to-video action films.
	Chinese Ghost Story: The Animation | Keith Tagged: 1997, Animation, Anita Yuen, Charlie Yeung, Chinese Ghost Story, Devils Demons and Monsters, Fantasy, Ghosts, Hong Kong, Jordan Chan, Sammo Hung, Tsui Hark In such an environment, it's not surprising that A Chinese Ghost Story: The Animation, despite being a fun movie, sparked no interest in the pursuit of a Chinese animation renaissance. Animation is just too hard. It's too labor intensive. And the Hong Kong industry had been totally gutted. It was easier to just bring cartoons in from Japan, as had always been done, and crank out the occasional modest effort like McDull. It's a shame, really, because A Chinese Ghost Story: The Animation was more than a promising start; it was a delightful success. If it hadn't come at such a dismal time in Hong Kong film history, A Chinese Ghost Story: The Animation could have been the start of something really cool.
	Chinese Gods | Keith Tagged: 1976, Animation, Bruce Lee Exploitation, Hong Kong, Martial Arts Chinese Gods was the first Hong Kong cartoon I ever saw, and quite frankly, I've yet to fully recover. Someone took a lot of that brown acid they had at Woodstock, then dove too deep and got a nitrogen high, then sat down and made this utterly dumbfounding, totally amazing gem of a movie. I don't even know where to begin with this one, as the size of this film's weirdness makes it nearly impossible to get a hold of. Should I start with ancient Chinese gods and their motorcycle clouds? Or the frequent dismemberment, charring, and other acts of insane violence? How about the fact that, when all else fails, the ancient gods of China have to call on the ultimate supernatural guardian of China, Bruce Lee (sporting a cool third eye in the center of his forehead)?
	Christmas Evil | Scott Tagged: 1980, Evil Santa, Holiday Horrors, Horror 1980's Christmas Evil is, I believe, the first of the Killer Santa Claus movies, which is odd if true. Used properly, Santa can be almost as creepy as a clown or a ventriloquist dummy, yet is sadly underutilized in popular culture. Maybe Santa is still too powerful a symbol. Luckily, maverick writer/director Lewis Jackson decided to blaze a trail by creating one of the first psychotic movie Santa Clauses, opening the floodgates for killer leprechauns, Uncle Sams, and perhaps, one day, cupids.
	The Church | Keith Tagged: 1989, Dario Argento, Devils Demons and Monsters, Horror, Italy, Michele Soavi, Satanism The demons get out of the seal and start possessing people left and right. The cathedral was built to seal itself shut if the evil escaped, and it does just that, which is a good idea and all unless you are one of the people trapped on the inside. One by one, they each fall victim to the demons, either getting possessed and turning into giggling fiends, or simply getting impaled or beheaded or tricked into ripping their face off. You know, demon stuff. Asia sneaks back in after a hot night on the town only to find all hell, so to speak, breaking loose. The old fart holy guys are useless, and the only guy keeping his head on straight is the black priest. He knows the architect who built the place also built it to collapse entirely with the turn of one crank, thus trapping the evil once again. The problem, of course, is no one knows where the crank is.
	Clans of Intrigue
	The College Girl Murders
	Colossus and the Amazon Queen
	Colossus and the Headhunters | Keith Tagged: 1963, Italy, Jungle Adventures, Kirk Morris, Peplum, Sword and Sandal This is one of the bloodier entries in the Hercules/Maciste film series, though we're not talking Cannibal Ferox here. It was still the early 1960s, and Italian cinema wouldn't plumb the depths of outlandish gore for several more years. I guess it's hard to make a movie about headhunters and not have it be a little bloody. That's why you don't really see too many Disney cartoons or Lifetime original movies about headhunters. The wild spirit behind the film lifts it a couple notches, making my final judgment on this particular Maciste excursion a positive one, but it's not one of my favorites of the genre. Still, it's worth checking out because it's not every day you get to see a son of Hercules stick it to a bunch of headhunters and their foppish leader.
	Commando
	Companeros | Keith Tagged: 1970, Franco Nero, Italy, Jack Palance, Sergio Corbucci, Tomas Milian, Westerns Companeros is among my favorite films. It's fast-paced, brilliantly acted, wonderfully scored (by legendary Italian composer Ennio Morrocione), and superbly written. Franco Nero, who made a name for himself as the coffin-toting killer in the excellent Spaghetti Western Django, and later embarrassed himself in the goofy but influential Enter the Ninja stars as Yolaf The Swede, a gun running hustler making a buck amid the turmoil of the Mexican Revolution. Tomas Milian, the Cuban-born actor who made a name for himself as an actor in Italy, plays Basco, a ruffian who hangs with a seedy general who claims to be championing the cause of the common man when in fact he's little more than a thug doing his best to amass a fortune for himself.
	Con Licencia Para Matar | Todd Tagged: 1968, Espionage, Maura Monti, Mexico Con Licencia Para Matar is the second of a pair of films featuring Las Tigresas, a trio of catsuit-wearing female secret agents for hire. The first Tigresas film, Munecas Peligrosas (aka Dangerous Dolls) was a barely-there affair. Con Licencia Para Matar, by contrast, would seem to be packed with enough plot for the both of them, complete with two competing sets of villains, including a beatnik scientist with a trio of super-powerful, green-faced androids at his command, and a blonde bombshell revolutionary who conceals her true designs under her cover as the owner of a posh go-go club. Despite all of this business, the film still manages to devote plenty of time to what seems to be the Tigresas films' first order of business, that being the inclusion of lots of random musical numbers and scenes of the Tigresas lounging around their well-appointed bachelorette pad in various stages of undress.
	Conan the Barbarian | Keith Tagged: 1982, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Conan, Fantasy, James Earl Jones, Sandahl Bergman, Sword and Sorcery Conanis more than just a nostalgia trip for me to a time when I had to work for my cult films. I had to travel and evade parents and guardians, sneak into theaters, things like that. Now I can just go down to Mondo Kim's and rent Immoral Tales and Cannibal Holocaust. But back then, it was a challenge. It was a quest, a trek just like Conan's. I still get a huge kick out of Conan the Barbarian and think it's Schwarzenegger's best film, and as I said earlier, the best barbarian film of them all. The music makes me want to trek a little myself. Conan the Barbarian may not have the most logical plot, but it's as logical as things get in the world of barbarians and James Earl Jones turning into a snake and members of Spinal Tap wielding giant stone hammers.
	Conan the Destroyer | Keith Tagged: 1984, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Conan, Dino De Laurentiis, Fantasy, Richard Fleischer, Robert E. Howard, Sarah Douglas, Sword and Sorcery Conan the Destroyer was silly enough to signal the end of the sword and sorcery genre, just as Conan the Barbarian was cool enough to signal the beginning. I guess in a way, that is fitting. Dozens more sword and sorcery films were made even after Conan the Destroyer destroyed the genre's coolest character, but those were stragglers that mostly ended up going direct to video, not unlike the legion of glam metal bands that came around in, say 1988, and just missed the boat. In a way, Conan the Destroyer is the Danger Danger or Enuf z'nuf of the sword and sorcery world.
	Conquerors of Atlantis | Keith Tagged: 1965, Alfonso Brescia, Helene Chanel, Italy, Kirk Morris, Peplum, Science Fiction, Sword and SandalConquerors of Atlantis takes the Hercules myth to its most illogical extremes and clocks in as the most absurd, yet also one of the most entertaining entries into the sword and sandal genre. The film sees a returning Kirk Morris, star of Colossus and the Headhunters, still looking a little too GQ for my tastes. The director, Alfonso Brescia, would later go on to make a string of science fiction movies in the 1970s, and his predisposition toward that genre is already evident here in what was one of his only sword and sandal films. Rather than rely on the age-old blend of muscles and fantasy, Brescia opts to make use of his position as a resident of the latter half of the 20th century, invoking elements of sci-fi that look like something straight out of an old Flash Gordon serial adventure, complete with subpar special effects.
	Conquest | Keith Tagged: 1983, Fantasy, Italy, Lucio Fulci, Sabrina Siani, Sword and Sorcery Illyan sails off into the mist, and Mace is immediately set upon by some pretty cool cobweb creatures who want information about Illyan. Mace can't tell them much other than the facts that he just ran for home with his tail tucked between his legs, and he pretty much sucked to begin with, but he sure knew how to bully a snake. They crucify Mace, mostly because it looks cool to strap a barbarian to a big wooden X on top of a cliff. But just when things seem lost, Illyan triumphantly returns! Boy, that must be a relief. His attempt to rescue Mace involves Mace accidentally being knocked off the cliff and into the ocean while still crucified. Hey, way to go, Illyan!
	Convoy Buster | Keith Tagged: 978, Crime, Guys with Exceptional Mustaches, Maurizio Merli, Poliziotteschi, Stelvio Massi The message here is a somewhat bleak one. Merli leaves Rome to escape the corruption and violence only to discover it can exist anywhere so long as people are willing to turn a blind eye and put up with it. Even in victory, the inspector learns a harsh lesson and is forced to reload his gun one last time, much like Ling the swordsman in Swordsman II, who was a man who simply wanted to retire to the mountains to sing and drink but kept finding himself pulled into the petty squabbles and power struggles of the world, forced to draw the sword he swore he would never again use.
	Cotton Comes to Harlem | Scott Tagged: 1970, Blaxploitation, Calvin Lockhart, Crime, Gravedigger Jones & Coffin Ed The actors who play Ed and Jones are great, almost measuring up to the mental images I had of them while reading the books. Of course, to completely measure up, they would have to be about nine feet tall. Moving through Harlem like avenging angels, they have no problem busting skulls when needed, yet still showing sympathy to common people. As Ed says, "We may have broken some hands, but we never broke no promise." Ed and Jones' fury is not directed at the common criminal, who they usually let slide, but with the scammers, the con artists out to take what little the people of Harlem have. They know O'Malley is crooked, and are searching for a way to prove it almost as hard as they are searching for the stolen money for the citizens.
	Count Yorga, Vampire
	Creature from Black Lake | Keith Tagged: 1976, Dub Taylor, Horror, Jack Elam, People Wandering Around in the Woods Like Morons, Sasquatch I suspect, then, that how much you enjoy a movie like Creature from Black Lake depends a lot on how you grew up and how you approach the movie today. With no frame of reference in common with the film, you can't hope for much. The simple fear generated from saying, "Did you hear that?" while you're sitting out in the middle of the woods isn't something that can be explained to someone who hasn't been there. An understanding of that sensation, of that primal sense of sudden fear that makes you peer pensively into impenetrable darkness, is integral to appreciating this type of film.
	Creature of Destruction | Keith Tagged: 1967, B-Masters Roundtable, Devils Demons and Monsters, Horror, Larry Buchanan "There is no monster in the world so treacherous as man." So we are reminded at the beginning of Larry Buchanan's Creature of Destruction and, just in case we forgot, at the end of the film as well. I like a film with a message, but the message is considerably less interesting if the film has to print it out for you. But hey - at least the guy was trying, which is more than can be said for most films. And in the end, this film is made in the tradition of sci-fi and horror films of days gone by, when such films had messages and delivered them with all the subtleties of a stoic military general surveying some scene of mass carnage and reflecting on the follies of man. Creature of Destruction is Buchanan's homage by way of remake.
	Crippled Avengers | Keith Tagged: 1978, Chang Cheh, Chen Kuan Tai, Chiang Sheng, Hong Kong, I Kuang, Kuo Chui, Lo Meng, Lu Feng, Martial Arts, Shaw Bros Studio, Sun Chien, The Venoms, Wang Lung Wei Crippled Avengers is one of my all-time favorite kungfu flicks. It is brutal, action-packed, and totally over-the-top -- basically, it's everything we've come to expect from a Chang Cheh film, and then some. The Venoms were easily the most energetic and talented group of guys the Shaw Studios ever got a hold of. With but a couple exceptions, almost everything they touched turned gold. This one, however, is pure platinum, like Ric Flair's hair. The film opens with a group of thugs searching for a guy named Tu Tin-to. They visit his estate and, upon discovering he is away, make one of those leaps of logic that only happen in kungfu films. "He's not here? Well, then let's cut off his wife's legs and his son's arms!"
	Cross Shot | Keith Tagged: 1976, Crime, Italy, John Saxon, Poliziotteschi, Stelvio Massi While Cross Shot is not the most violent or action-packed of the many poliziotteschi film, it's still a solid thriller with generic but interesting characters and a plot that keeps you glued to the set. You figure Antonio will probably get it in the end -- those innocent youths gone wrong always do -- but they make the journey there interesting, and by the end you're hoping that maybe he'll make it out alive after all. John Saxon is suitably grim and frustrated as the cop on the edge, though he doesn't pull it off with as much sympathy as Maurizio Merli. Of course, no one plays that part like Merli did in Violent Napoli.
	Cruel Gun Story | Todd Tagged: 1964, Crime, Japan, Joe Shishido, Nikkatsu Studio, Yakuza Cruel Gun Story is –- like Nikkatsu's Youth of the Beast, Detective Bureau 2-3: Go to Hell Bastards! and 3 Seconds Before Explosion before it –- based on a book by hardboiled crime novelist Haruhiko Oyabu. It tells the story of Togawa, a con who is sprung from prison early via the machinations of a mysterious underworld kingpin who communicates with him through an emissary, a former mob lawyer named Ito. Ito and his boss want Togawa to carry out a robbery that they’ve planned, involving an armored car shipment of racetrack receipts worth 120 million yen, and have hand selected a crew of four men to assist him in the task.
	Crusher Joe
	Cry of the Banshee
	The Curse of Frankenstein
	Curse of the Crimson Altar | Keith Tagged: 1968, Barbara Steele, Boris Karloff, Creepy Cults, England, Horror, HP Lovecraft, Michael Gough, Tigon, Venerated Horror Film Icon Christopher Lee, Witchcraft As an adaptation of Lovecraft, it's a wash, even if you happen to like the film. Despite the source material, nothing of Lovecraft's ominous mood makes it into the movie. Gone is the sense of of some sort of cosmic doom lurking just on the other side of our reality, ready to leap through the tiniest of rips in the fabric of reality and unleash misery upon humanity. Instead, we have a very standard issue devil cult. But it has its moments. If you don't mind creaky, old fashioned horror movies (despite the hip young mods jazzing it up in the parlor, it's obvious from their dialogue that this is an old fashioned movie) who don't live up their potential, that aren't really scary, and aren't particularly impressive, then you might appreciate Curse of the Crimson Altar as much as I do.