Release Year: 2006
Country: India
Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Arjun Rampal, Isha Koppikar, Boman Irani, Om Puri, Pavan Malhotra, Rajesh Khattar, Tanay Chheda, Kareena Kapoor, Chunky Pandey, Sushma Reddy, Diwakar Pundir, Sandrine Verrier, Sidhart Jyoti.
Writer: Farhan Akhtar
Director: Farhan Akhtar
Cinematographer: Mohanan
Music: Shankar Mahadevan, Loy Mendonsa, Ehsaan Noorani
Producer: Farhan Akhtar and Ritesh Sidhwani
Availability: Buy it from India Weekly.

Back in 1998 or so, the Amitabh Bachchan blockbuster Don became the first Bollywood film I ever watched. Or rather, that I ever really watched. Before that, I watched a Ramsay Brothers horror film called Haveli, but it was an nth generation dupe with no subtitles, frequent commercial breaks, and scrolling banner ads on the top and bottom of the picture — and occasionally through the middle of the screen as well. So I don’t think that actually counts. But at some point in 1998, I purchased a DVD copy of Don, knowing very little about the film other than the fact that the theme song, which I’d heard on the “Bombay the Hard Way” compilation, was pretty bad-ass. To say that my mind was blown after viewing it would be something of an understatement. Although technically crude in spots, there was no denying the film’s immense charm and unadulterated joy de vivre. Bollywood cinema is certainly as commercial and financially driven as Hollywood, but the desire to make sure the audience has one hell of a good time is so infused into every frame that one can’t help but fall in love with an industry product which, while probably no less focus grouped and cynical behind the scenes, is just so full of good natured energy and spirit — not to mention so full of scenes of a jeury-curl sporting Pran doing backflips, kungfu kicks, and various feats of tightrope walking prowess.

With Don as the impetus, I began my fruitful and only very rarely disappointing relationship with Indian cinema. Movies came and went, and I learned more and more about the action stars, past and present, that Bollywood had to offer — Dharmendra and his son Sonny Deol, the mighty Mithun, and the suave old school guys like Dev Anand and Shammi Kapoor when he was all thin and hot and sporting his pencil thin mustache — but as much as I liked all these guys, and as much as I liked many of their films, Don and Amitabh remained at the top of the heap. Don was my first Bollywood crush, so to speak, and you always have a soft spot for your first.

Not that celebrating Amitabh Bachchan is anything unusual. He was, after all, the single biggest star in Bollywood for decades, revolutionizing the type of cinema the industry produced and bringing the harder edged, grittier style of 70s era American filmmaking and anti-heroes to India. And he could dance. His now-famous and much referred to “angry young man” — a character archetype he pioneered in films like Deewar and Zanjeer and continued to inhabit well into the 80s, and a little bit after that, when he was too old to be an “angry young man” — took the streetwise edge of an anti-authoritarian Sam Peckinpah hero and mixed it with the smooth dance moves of John Travolta. The character tapped into something previously only flirted with by stars like Shammi Kapoor, and Indian audiences flocked to Amitabh and his films, elevating him far beyond the mantle of mere “movie star” into something wholly greater and largely unique to India.

Of course, nothing gold can stay, and Amitabh wasn’t going to be able to play the angry young man forever, though he was game to try for as long as he could. A series of personal and professional setbacks, including a disastrous run in politics and a financially ruinous gamble on a production and broadcast studio — tarnished Amitabh’s record somewhat, causing him to slum it in some crap films for a while in order to rebuild his empire. But rebuild he did, and while he’s not above taking the occasional crap role for a boatload of cash (the man was in Boom, for crying out loud), he has settled comfortably into the role of dashing elder statesman and head of a dynasty that includes his fabulously popular son Abhishek and Abhishek’s famously gorgeous superstar wife, Aishwarya Rai.

But there was another.

In the 1990s, when Amitabh’s star was in decline and Sonny Deol was busy single-handedly defeating the entire Pakistani nation, action films gave way to romantic comedies and dramas as the preferred style of movie. Even Sonny had to take time out from punching out terrorists in order to make a few romantic movies. But the man who emerged during the latter half of that decade as the undisputed king of Bollywood was a guy named Shahrukh Khan.

Khan has the same dark, smoldering style of good looks that allowed Amitabh to make women swoon, but he also had an impish charm that Amitabh was occasionally capable of but hardly defined by. Khan had the smirk and the cocked eyebrow that could magically make a woman slink out of her clothes or spontaneously dance in the rain, depending on Shahrukh’s whim at that particular moment. And like Amitabh, Shahrukh wasn’t afraid to take on risky or controversial roles, perhaps best exemplified by his turn as an obsessed journalist in 1998′s terrorist drama Dil Se. Although Amitabh had ushered in an era in which it was possible for the hero to die at the end (rare in Bollywood cinema, which treasured the happy ending), that had gone out of style by the 90s. But Shahrukh wasn’t afraid to try and bring it back, along with films that delivered spectacle and entertainment with a heavy dose of politics and social rumination.

I admit that I was late to the Shahrukh game. Romantic comedies have never been my thing, so for years I explored Bollywood film without ever coming into contact with Shahrukh or even being aware of how famous he was. Several years ago, I finally watched Dil Se, and while it is a problematic film in some respects, I was never the less blown away by the film itself — but not by Shahrukh, who turns in a credible if somewhat unsympathetic performance for most of the film before going all Jackie Cheung over the top at the end in a bit that was supposed to be highly emotional and tense but never quite succeeded for me. I had a few other Shahrukh films in my collection, though — an ancient world epic called Asoka and a film called Karan Arjun, which I bought for no other reason than I read a review that said nothing more than, “Horrifically violent.” I ended up going with Asoka, because I sure do love sweeping costumed epics — that’s my style of romance film — and it had been directed by the cinematographer Santosh Sivan, who had turned Dil Se into one of the most sumptuously shot films I’d ever seen. As I wrote in the review, it was during Asoka that I “got” Shahrukh.

I still don’t keep up with current Bollywood news very astutely. I tend to watch older movies, anyway, and new movies that I might be interested in I learn about through reviews (usually bad). However, I did pick up that Shahrukh Khan — reigning king of Bollywood — had a bit of a tiff with Amitabh, who wasn’t entirely ready to turn over the throne. I’m sure both guys get tired of one being compared to the other, and I understand Amitabh feeling threatened by the young lion, just as Shahrukh is probably desperate to emerge from the long shadow Amitabh casts. At first, it would seem that remaking one of Amitabh’s most famous films wouldn’t really be a step in the right direction.

When I found out Shahrukh was remaking Don, I was ambivalent but not offended the way some people were (and always are by remakes of famous films). And it seemed like a canny move by Shahrukh to star as the titular king of the underworld and his good-natured doppelganger. Because this Don would be different but the same — or is it the same but different? Anyway, it would pay homage to Amitabh but also highlight the ways in which Shahrukh — and modern Indian cinema — was different from Amitabh and his classic film. It may seem a convoluted conclusion for me to draw, but this is Bollywood, and Bollywood plots are nothing if not convoluted.

Shahrukh Khan plays very close to the plot of the first film for abut half its running time. Khan stars as Don, relocated for this version of the story from Bombay to Kuala Lampur. Don is a major player in the India- Kuala Lampur criminal underworld, but he’s chafing under the command of men he sees as less intelligent, less capable, and less ambitious than himself. Unfortunately, his drive to excel brings him to the attention of Interpol, who want to take down Don as a way of toppling the entire criminal organization for which he works. Teaming up to bring down Shahrukh Don are Interpol inspector Vishal (played by venerable Indian film icon Om Puri (last seen in these parts coaching Mithun on to superstardom in Disco Dancer), and Indian DCP DeSilva (Boman Irani). But The Man isn’t Don’s only concern. After offing a lieutenant of his who was hoping to escape with his girlfriend (Kareena Kapoor, in a cameo and filling the role Helen tackled in the original) from Don, then offing the girl as well, her vengeful kungfu-powered sister, Roma (Priyanka Chopra, last mentioned on Teleport City in the review of Asambhav and here attempting to fill the role originated by Zeenat Aman), has decided to kill Don — or die trying — by infiltrating his gang.

Don’s ambition eventually gets the better of him, as a drug deal gone bad gets busted up by the cops. Allow to pause here to ask, as I have perhaps asked before, how does any business ever get conducted in the criminal underworld if every single deal is a double cross of the, “No I don’t think we’ll pay you” variety? I mean, we see Shahrukh Don involved in two deals in this movie, and both of them are betrayals. And how many times have we seen similar betrayals in other action films? One dare not even think about it. So how can you get anything done if everyone is always taking the suitcase full of cash or drugs, but then pulling out a gun instead of turning over the other suitcase full of drugs or cash? Just once, a movie should feature two gangs standing face to face. The leader of the one gang slides over a suitcase full of coke. The other side inspects it, then slides over a suitcase full of cash. After that is inspected, both of them say their goodbyes and go their separate ways, looking forward to doing business with each other again.

Anyway, Don’s drug deal gone wrong, which includes the famous exploding briefcase from the beginning of the original Don, leads to a chase with the cops, which in turn leads to Don being mortally wounded. However, the only person who is aware of Don’s situation is the DCP, and he just happens to have once met a street performer with a heart of gold and uncanny resemblance to the dying criminal mastermind…

And it is here that the remake begins to toy with expectations and the plot of the original. The basics are the same. Don’s happy-go-lucky look-alike, Vijay (also Khan), is enlisted by the DCP — without anyone else’s knowledge, lest there be a security leak — to masquerade as Don and collect evidence against the upper echelon of the crime organization. Vijay reluctantly agrees, with DeSilva offering to make sure the orphan boy for which Vijay cares gets a proper education. Needless to say, things are complicated for Vijay. The police don’t know he’s not Don, so they are still trying to kill or capture him. Roma doesn’t know he’s not Don, so she’s still plotting to assassinate him. And Don’s own men waver between belief and suspicion. All these complications were present in the original film, but the remake throws a couple more on for good measure.

At this point, I think I’m going to dispense with comparisons to the original, as they are largely pointless, in my opinion. So know that I loved the original. I also loved the remake, though it is a very different type of film, less gritty crime drama and more slick jet-setting adventure. Shahrukh Khan is better in the role of Vijay as Don than as Don himself, but he’s excellent all the way around. He also proves that he is a proud member of that exclusive club of men who can successfully pull off outfits that would look utterly absurd on any other man. This club was practically founded by Fred Astaire, and it currently includes David Beckham, Brad Pitt, and of course, Shahrukh Khan. For much of the film, Don alternates between more modern dress — slick slim-cut suits, hooded sweatshirts, and so on — and an array of garish polyester (actually, probably silk) shirts from the “Amitabh ’78″ collection (buy it in the spring 1978 International Male catalog). But the crowning achievement is the innovation of the “inner tie,” a brightly colored tie worn around one’s bare neck rather than around the shirt collar, and then tucked into the shirt itself at the neck (or, if you have a chest like Shahrukh, a couple inches down from the neck, where you finally get around to fastening some buttons). I know, I know! It sounds absolutely ludicrous, and it is. Go on, try it. I did. See? You look like an idiot, don’t you? But look at Shahrukh Don. That’s right — it looks awesome on him. How is this possible? We mere mortal men will probably never know.

Don’s look is, of course, just one part of the overall art design of the film, meant to give everything an ultra high-tech, bad-ass, modern sheen. And it really works. This is one cool movie. Relocating the film from Bombay to Kuala Lampur allows Don to take full advantage of Kuala Lampur’s glass high rises and excessive luxuries. And unlike many films that strive for a similar style, Don doesn’t necessarily have to turn a blind eye to substance as a trade-off.

Much of that substance comes from an unlikely place. When last we saw Arjun Rampal here, we were making fun of what a bad actor he was in Asambhav. When I learned that he was the one cast to reprise Pran’s role as the unfortunate father of the child Vijay eventually discovers and adopts, I was ready to write that whole portion of the film off. Surprisingly, though, Arjun turns in one hell of a performance as a computer security expert (or so they claim — anyone who is actually involved in any degree of computer security will be amused and appalled by what passes for computer security) who is forced to commit robbery and, as a result, get busted by the cops, crippled by a bullet in the leg, loses his wife when she is murdered as retribution for the botched robbery, and loses his son, who escapes murder but vanishes (to be adopted, of course, by Vijay). Rampal brings a fierce intensity to the role of which I didn’t know he was capable. Sure, I miss his character being a jeury curled ugly guy with a talent for circus performing, but I can always get that from the old film.

Priyanka Chopra, another Asambhav alumni, fares slightly less better trying to fill the shoes of Roma. She’s perfectly acceptable but ultimately unmemorable when matched up against the always superb Shahrukh and the surprisingly intense Rampal. Her character just seems to lack vitality, an although I said I wasn’t going to invoke the original, I have to say that a large part of the problem is that she’s taking on a role that was revolutionary in the 70s and originally filled by a revolutionary actress in Zeenat Aman. Zeenat made me believe. Priyanka doesn’t, though I will admit that she looks great, acts well, and has a few decent action scenes. I really like her and I think she makes a good action heroine, but as is often the case both in Bollywood and throughout the world, the script doesn’t seem to have a clear idea of what to do with her. The biggest problem with her role here is that this is Shahrukh’s movie, and trying to outshine Don Khan is strictly a mission asambhav. Balancing out the female end of things is Isha Koppikar as Don’s main moll, Anita. She’s absolutely perfect for the part, and unfortunately,t he movie has even less for her to do than it does Priyanka. A real shame, because she burns up the screen even with the little she’s given to do.

I didn’t know a whole lot about Boman Irani before this movie, and I guess I still don’t know much about him other than he bears an uncanny and slightly disturbing resemblance to Richard Kind — you know, if Richard Kind shot people. Anyway, the role of DeSilva gives him plenty to do, and he does plenty with it. The rest of the cast rounds things out nicely, with pretty much everyone turning in a solid performance.

As with many modern films, Don packs a few too many herky jerky editing tricks and CGI-powered camera hijinks into its running time than a film probably should. It doesn’t reach Asambhav levels of abuse, but you better be prepared for writer-director Farhan Akhtar to rely heavily on split screens, slow motion, CGI vehicle stunts and explosions, rapid fire jump cuts, and that thing where guys walk in slow motion to techno music, then the film suddenly speeds up for like two seconds, then it all goes into slow motion again. Despite those indulgences though, which it seems like we’re just going to have to put up with since every goddamn country in the world seems to employ them now, Akhtar’s direction is surprisingly sure-handed for so inexperienced a director. I don’t know how a guy with so few credits to his name managed to land a directing gig of this magnitude, but he doesn’t let the film down. Both his direction and his script are snappy and exciting. The cinematography by K.U. Mohanan is also top notch — not Christopher Doyle or Santosh Sivan good, but very stylish, taking full advantage of Kuala Lampur’s glittering towers, modernist interiors, and gorgeous beaches. Although also possessed of few major credits, he successfully gives this movie the super-hip, super-slick appearance it needs.

The music is neither here nor there and is comprised primarily of generic action film techno and electronic music. The musical numbers are largely forgettable, though Kareena Kapoor’s recreation of the famous Helen scene from the original serves primarily to remind us why Helen was such a national treasure. I don’t know exactly what goes wrong in that scene, because I love sexy women doing sexy dancing, but I spent most of that number entranced by Shahrukh’s inner tie.

I didn’t have terribly high expectations going into this film, but I did have expectations. I am happy to say that Don far exceeded what I expected from it. I really liked this movie a lot. It’s fast paced, super cool, emotionally engaging, and manages to work as a remake, homage, and re-imagining without ever losing the spirit of the original. I don’t see any reason one couldn’t easily be a fan of both the original and the remake. Given my druthers, I would have introduced Vijay earlier, rather than spring him all of sudden into the film with minimal explanation, but that’s a small quibble at best. I don’t know what the eventual outcome of the Amitabh-versus-Shahrukh rivalry will be, and I don’t really care. I’d be happy to hang out with or accept sartorial advice from either man.

Of course, this would probably result in me wearing an inner tie with a jacket covered in flashing disco lights, so perhaps I’m best off as I am, a peon basking in the majesty of the Don and the Khan.