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[film] THE MIGHTY GORGA
After what feels like an eternity, April and Mark reach the top of the plateau, and all our hard work watching them make fakey grimace faces while climbing over very small rocks pays off when the two are attacked by a tyrannosaurus rex! Now there are good special effects, and there are bad special effects, and there are awful special effects. But this one...this one transcends all that has come before it and may very well be the nirvana of awful special effects. Mark and April cower helplessly on a projection screen while the screen is menaced by what looks like one of those plastic toy dinosaurs mounted on the end of a stick. You know the ones -- they sell them at museums all the time. It's a crude dinosaur upper body attached to a stick, usually with a trigger so your kid can make the mouth open and close.
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[leisure] TUTHILLTOWN TASTING
A few months ago, I was passing the lunch hour by poking through the bourbon shelves at Astor Wine and Spirits, just a bock away from where I work. While there, and wondering whether or not I wanted to thrown down for a bottle of this year's Kentucky Derby edition of Woodford Reserve (I did want to, but I didn't have the money), I noticed a tiny, old-fashioned, wax-sealed bottle labeled Hudson Baby Bourbon. Intrigued, I picked up the bottle and gleaned what I could from it and the card on the shelf. Hudson Baby Bourbon was the product of the Tuthilltown Distillery, one of a growing number of American micro-distilleries hand-crafting small-batch, high quality whiskeys.
[leisure] CORVETTE MUSEUM
I was not traditionally a big Corvette fan. As someone who grew up in the 70s and 80s, I tend to associate the phallic automobile with Gary, the guy who lived about a mile away and typified the "mid-life crisis dude" of that era: medallions, balding but with a ponytail, lots of cologne, and a Corvette. Years later, and even after I discovered how cool the cars were at one point before they became the domain of leathery lounge lizards looking to pick up bleach blonde bimbos, I had a hard time dissociating the car itself from the guys I too often encountered driving them. Saab has a similar problem for me, as every Saab driver I've ever known was a prick. Anyway, as I grew older and, in a sea of people drooling over the latest European speed demon, began to develop a more refined appreciation for good ol' American muscle, I decided to revisit my prejudice toward the Corvette. And there seemed no better way to do it than by visiting the Corvette Museum in Bowling Green, Kentucky.
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[film] THE HELL OF 50 MOVIE PACK
The Hell of 50 Movie Pack celebrates Teleport City's ongoing journey through the nine circles of Mill Creek Entertainment's 50 Movie Pack. When you're getting 50 movies for $15, you know the quality is going to be high, and while the films in these various collections -- which cover everything from horror to noir to science fiction to sword and sandal -- often live up to one's low expectations both in terms of the print quality and the quality of the film itself, there are also many hidden gems, forgotten films, and other strange stuff you will never find anywhere else. The latest reviews include:
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[film] JET SET CINEMA
Jet Set Cinema is Teleport City's short form salute to the sexiest, swinginest, and swankiest in the world of film of television. From sleuthing with Mr. Moto and Bulldog Drummond to fashion tips from Jason King, all things cinematically suave will find their home here. The latest grooves include:
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[film] SHRIMP CHIPS
Shrimp Chips are short reviews and off the cuff commentary about whatever movie we happen to be thinking about here at Teleport City, but not thinking about so hard that it warrants a full review. This can be vaguely remembered stuff from the past or something I watched last night. For example, the last Shrimp Chips I thought about were:
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[film] B-MASTERS CABAL ROUNDTABLE
And now, the B-Masters pay tribute to that special effects with is almost a sine qua non of sci-fi and horror: The man in the creature suit. Be it alien, mutant, or monster undefined, the arm-waving raaaahring of such under-appreciated thespians was for decades -- and to some degree, still is today -- the only way that outlandish beings beyond or normal experience could be realized on film. We salute the creature suits and the men (and women) who worked inside them. Rubber Soul proves that you can trust a suit, so long as that suit is covered in scales or mangy fur. Teleport City launches a multi-pronged attack that will see us investigating Thai-produced Ultraman movies, bonkers 80s Hong Kong horror, and atmospheric 50s chillers undone by ridiculous monster suits. Be sure to check out all the B-Master contributions as we honor these, the true bread and butter of the b-movie universe.
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